Call Centre Tech Support Jokes

CALL CENTRE JOBS: PEOPLE WONDER WHY THEY R PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE.TAKE A LOOK:

1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."!
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."

4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$

5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."

7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"

8). Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."

9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."

10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

16). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command. 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Letme know how it goes. 10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you ! the file. Let me know how it goes. 1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE

sum wacky quotes

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for anHour, and it seems like a minute.
THAT'SRelativity.- Albert Einstein
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The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working The moment you get up in the morning and does notStop until you get into the office.- Robert Frost
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The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's There to appreciate it.- Franklin P. Jones
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We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain The success of those we don't like?- Jean Cocturan
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It matters not whether you win or lose; what Matters is whether I win or lose.- Darrin Weinberg -------------------------------------
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
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Help a man when he is in trouble and he will Remember you when he isIn trouble again.
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Complex problems have simple, easy to understand Wrong answers.
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It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it Creative problem solving.
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Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know Where to shop.
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Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, Neither does milk.
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Most people are only alive because it is illegal to Shoot them.
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Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
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The number of people watching you is directly Proportional to the stupidity of your action.